Boom! Date stalking app lands sexy £69m round!

Investors go big and blow huge sum on ValueMyDate, which puts a price on love so singles can let head rule their hearts

APRIL FOOLS’! This was a fabricated story from Adzuna – no such app exists and Startups does not employ a writer by the name of Joe King. 

Stalking app ValueMyDate has today landed £69m worth of funding in round led by Passion Capital.

Appealing to frustrated singletons who want more transparency on a first date, ValueMyDate helps single users determine the financial status of their would-be lover by scanning their LinkedIn profile or CV.

Uisng patent-pending AI algorithm, the tool also adds factors like height, accent and facial hair to infer CEO potential, and claims to have a 90% level of accuracy.

Doug Monro, co-founder of Adzuna, said:

“Increasing numbers of our users and staff have been using ValueMyCV to check out their dates, so, to service our members more thoroughly, we have raised a further £69m from top investors led by Passion Capital to launch ValueMyDate.”

“We’re doubling down on our ML (machine loving) and AI (amorous intelligence) teams, as well as bringing in a new Head of Gold-digging.”

“After tinkering with the tool for some time, we think we’ve now hit the nail on the head.  We plan to monetise through auctioning off the highest value members, and charging a small commission on divorce settlements.”

“I couldn’t be more excited about our roadmap of future enhancements including ReviewMyEx and ValueMyGranny, as well as speed dating events which we’re callng ‘Meat-ups’. Then it’s a US rollout in Q3, in line with our mission to Make America Date Again.”

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