In his bi-monthly column, F&B expert Matt Harris serves up food for thought (with plenty of takeaways advice) from the inhospitable world of hospitality.
Last Friday, the delivery OG Uber Eats pulled a vanishing act right in the middle of the dinner rush. For a few frantic hours, orders vanished into the ether, as thousands of kitchen-avoiders realised the “Help” button on their phones was a misnomer.
But the real disaster wasn’t a tech error; it was human. When the system crashed, the customer support bots – you know the soulless algorithms we’re told are the future of customer service – collapsed too. Restaurant owners were left shouting into a digital void while the hangry took their frustrations out on the only people they could find: the people behind the counter.
It’s the ultimate hospitality catfishing. We’ve been sold a dream of “frictionless” scaling, but when the friction actually hits, these tech giants disappear faster than a ghost kitchen in a tax raid, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your clientele’s broken burger/tandoori/pad thai dreams.
Put simply, if you don’t have a direct line to your customer, you don’t own a business; you own a franchise of someone else’s glitch.
Here’s what you can do:
- The 10% direct bribe: Every delivery bag must contain a “next time, call us” voucher. 10% off for them, 20% more margin for you.
- Phone a friend: Keep a dedicated phone line for locals. In a world of bots, a human voice saying, “I’ve got your burger right here” is a premium luxury.
- Data is your lifeboat: If you don’t have your regulars’ email addresses, you’re missing the boat. Start building your own list today.
Matt Harris – Founder of Planet of the Grapes
Matt started his Food & Beverage journey aged 19 working at Thresher's in Brixton. With a WSET diploma in wine and spirits under his belt, he went on to establish wine merchants Planet of the Grapes in 2004. Now – at the ripe old age of 52 – Matt's empire includes multiple venues around London including bars in Leadenhall Market and East Dulwich as well as restaurant Fox Fine Wines & Spirits at London Wall.
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