I tell my team to ask for help. Why can’t I as a CEO?

A while ago, an employee asked for time off to care for her sick child. I agreed immediately, but later it struck me: when I was in the same position, I wouldn’t give myself the same permission. 

When my daughter was a few months old, we were in full product push mode. It felt like a kind of sprint where every hour mattered and where meetings were dominoes in an infinitely large chain. On paper, I was “present”; logging into standups, reviewing decks, and making decisions. In secret, I was unravelling. 

Weekends at home were brutal. The baby would not settle for more than 90 minutes at a time without a fuss, my partner was exhausted, and the house was a flapping door when it came to feeding, rocking and nappy changing.

When morning came around again, I would wash, put on a founder’s face, and log in on Zoom as if life was normal. I was barely holding it together, but I didn’t tell my team. Part of me didn’t think it was their problem, while another part worried that admitting my struggles at home would somehow detract from my authority. 

Founders are supposed to radiate stability, aren’t they? 

If I were to start talking about sleepless nights or feeling drained, my team might come to doubt my abilities. Or worse, the investors might get word that I was distracted. So I choked it down, sending happy Slack emojis throughout and answering late-night chats so I’d prove I was “all in”, even though I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open.

Today, I regret not being honest, to myself and others. The irony of it all is that today’s brands are all about authenticity. But when I most needed to show it, I backed down. 

By keeping my peace, I missed an opportunity to make normal what my team was undoubtedly living in their own lives, whether through parenting, caregiving, or plain burnout.

If I were redoing all that again, I would approach it differently: I would speak up, not at length, nor make a dramatic confession. I’d say something as simple as “Hey, I’m struggling at home with the baby not sleeping. That’s why I’m a tad slow. I’m still in it for it all, but there is a chance I might need a wee bit more support this week.” 

That kind of openness does not undermine leadership; it, in fact, strengthens it. It invites individuals to come with their whole selves to their workplaces rather than get caught up in a constant tug of war between work and their parental duties. It is about embracing your human side, where work and life are in sync and not in conflict with each other.

As an entrepreneur, we are afraid our vulnerability will compromise people’s faith in us. But what I’ve learnt, and what I wish I knew back then, is that exposing that fracture is actually exactly how you win people’s confidence.

About Varun Bhanot

Varun Bhanot is Co-founder and CEO of MAGIC AI, the cutting-edge AI mirror that makes high-quality fitness coaching more accessible. Under his leadership, MAGIC AI has raised $5 million in venture funding and earned multiple industry accolades — including being named one of TIME’s Best Inventions of 2024. As a new father as well as founder, Varun shares candid insights on balancing parenting and entrepreneurship in his bi-monthly guest column, Startup Daddy.

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