What fatherhood taught me about leadership

Before I got the badge of a parent, I thought that leadership was all about being decisive and having a clear roadmap in front of you. My life revolved around KPIs and OKRs.

Things took a 180-degree turn after the birth of my child. That day, the only metric that mattered to me was the weight of the tiny angel-like creation I held in my arms.

The first thing that I learned was that not everything lay in my control. This realisation dawned on me one Tuesday night when my newborn cried for three hours straight. I followed every sleep routine I could find and skimmed through numerous parenting books between Zoom calls, but nothing seemed to work. The experience humbled me. 

Deadlines don’t affect babies, they work on their own schedule. That realisation helped me to reframe my leadership approach. I no longer expected perfection and instead started to tune into the rhythm and capacity of people.

I began to appreciate that adults are sometimes no different from children. They also learn by doing and failing. And, to realise their best potential, they need to be met with patience, not pressure.

Just like a toddler doesn’t need you to fix everything right away, your team doesn’t either. What they need instead is calm, kind and, above all, trusting presence. Sometimes the most powerful thing a leader can say is, “I see this is hard. Let’s figure it out together.”

The results speak for themselves; my team started coming up with solutions instead of complaints. Learning to let go was unarguably one of the hardest lessons. Parenthood forces you to accept the inevitable truth that you can’t be everywhere or do everything. It’s okay to miss milestones or forget birthdays.

At work, this translated into giving my team real ownership over projects instead of micromanaging. This wasn’t because I was checking out, but because I trusted my team enough to tackle things and take initiative. The result? Better performance than I could have imagined, and I became a better leader by stepping back.

There were other lessons, too. Toddlers are known for throwing tantrums. But investors do too, just in suits.  As a parent, I was quick to grasp that your tone can make or break a situation in mere seconds. I began applying the same principle in the boardroom.

Fatherhood also redefined how I saw my legacy. It’s not about exits or accolades. What ultimately endures are the values you pass on, the culture you build, and how you make people feel after working with you or growing up around you.

As a founder, my thinking spanned quarters, but parenting gave me a long-term perspective. At last, I began to think in decades.

I also went through the mundane experience of no sleep and dirty nappies. These moments taught me what no whitepaper ever could — that the best leaders don’t just manage people; they raise them with patience and humility.

Today, when I hold my daughter, I’m still measuring weight. Not just hers, but the weight of responsibility to be the kind of leader she can be proud of. The kind who builds others up instead of just building up.

About Varun Bhanot

Varun Bhanot is Co-founder and CEO of MAGIC AI, the cutting-edge AI mirror that makes high-quality fitness coaching more accessible. Under his leadership, MAGIC AI has raised $5 million in venture funding and earned multiple industry accolades — including being named one of TIME’s Best Inventions of 2024. As a new father as well as founder, Varun shares candid insights on balancing parenting and entrepreneurship in his bi-monthly guest column, Startup Daddy.

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